Help others to help yourself

We have all been in the situation when we needed the help of others and we will most certainly encounter circumstances in which receiving help from others will do good for us. Even those who appear to be strong and invincible need help sometimes.

Helping is difficult. Especially in some modern societies, where people, on average, may seem to be proud and offering your help to them might be taken as an offense. If you try to help and you are rejected, negative energy and feelings are shared, which is overly discouraging. Also, the “I have my problems, why should I help others” mentality is spreading, and is often accompanied by “I would not receive help in trouble, why should I offer help to others?”

The answer seems to be easy:

“A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” – James Keller

Seems to be easy. But in many cases, one can step on shaky grounds.

First and foremost, if your help is rejected, you must bear in mind that you have not made a mistake. You have acted right. There is no problem with your personality, but the individual who rejected your help is not ready. They did not reject it because they are rude, they just do not know how to accept your offer. The negative emotions the rejection causes should be realized and considered, they should be lived through and then trashed and forgotten. Because they are not about you, but about the individual rejecting you.

One should also remember that stubbornly wasting energy and time on helping individuals who are not open for help is useless and self-destructive. Sometimes people will reject help because they are too proud of showing their vulnerable side. Sometimes allowing others to help us needs trust. Try to gain the trust of others to help them, but if it is getting so immense that it consumes you and you believe the individual will never accept your help, you must move on. Your energy and help will come in handy for others, concentrate on them, and on yourself.

“A candle lights others and consumes itself.” – source unknown

Help others until you have enough energy surplus to do so. But as much as you are responsible for your fellows, you are responsible for yourself as well. Helping others can never drain your energy storage so much that nothing is left for you. Abandoning yourself, not caring about yourself will never solve problems. You can help more if you are “selfish” enough to take care of yourself as well. You must always in every case remember this.


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